Best Jokes

Exercise works best first thing in the morning...

Before your brain figures out what you're doing.

A young soldier was stationed at Myrtle Beach, S.C., where he spent his spare time fishing in the backwaters of the Intercoastal Waterway. Soon he became a guide of sorts for some senior non-commissioned officers.

Once, a chief master sergeant hooked a 20-pound striped bass. After he reeled the fish onto the boat, he slipped the hook out of its mouth and released it back into the water. He noticed the puzzled look on the face of the young soldier.

"Rank does have its privileges. I can't keep a fish that has more stripes than I do," he explained.

How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster?

Terrier-fied!

A judge in Louisville decided a jury went ''a little bit too far'' in recommending a sentence of 5,005 years for a man who was convicted of five robberies and a kidnapping.

The judge reduced the sentence to 1,001 years.