Best Jokes

Top ways high egg prices are changing the world:

Only the wealthy can now afford to walk on eggshells.

Eggs are now considered too good to scramble.

"Laying an egg" is now a compliment.

People are starting to ask for a cost-of-mayo raise.

You can have a steak. Or, for $2 more, an egg salad sandwich.

What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-sooner!

- Lying around, pondering the problems of the world, I realized that at my age I don't really care anymore.

- I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

- Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

- Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

- It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

- The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Someone just called my phone, sneezed and then hung up.

I’m getting sick and tired of these cold calls.