Best Jokes

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text, “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you!"

The husband, typically unromantic, replied,

"I am in the toilet. Please advise."

Neighbor: Why do you allow your wife to drink so much?

Me: Ever seen how she acts sober?

Q: What sound does a piano make when you drop it down a mine shaft?
A: A flat miner!

I am becoming increasingly worried and concerned....

Worried and concerned that there isn't enough anxiety in my life!