Best Jokes

Salesman: "Just give us a small deposit, ma'am, and you'll pay nothing for the next six months."

Woman: "I see you've heard of us."

Judge asks the defendant, “Why did you steal that car, Mr. Jones?”

Mr. Jones looks down, “I just had to get to work for an important meeting.”

The judge keeps asking, “Well why didn’t you take a bus?”

Mr. Jones looks up, surprised, “Don’t you need a special license to drive the bus?”

Little Johnny’s teacher asked the students what they want to be in the future. Laurie says she wants to be a doctor.

Karen says she wanted to be a police officer and Susie says she wanted to be a rich and famous actress and model.

When the teacher asked Johnny what he wanted to do, he said, “I want to marry Susie.”

For her birthday, the only gift I got my wife is an alarm clock that swears at her instead of beeping.

She is in for a rude awakening.