Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A baby camel was born at the zoo last week and the poor thing had no hump...
So they named him Humphrey.
"Doctor!" said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, "I want you to tell me very frankly what's wrong with me?"
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use about half as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist - the doctor's office is on the next floor."
Dallas heard that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all walked on water on their 21st birthdays.
So, on his 21st birthday, Dallas and his big brother Damon, headed out to the lake. "If they did it, I can too!" he insisted.
When Dallas and Damon arrived at the lake, they rented a canoe and began paddling. When they got to the middle of the lake, Dallas stepped off of the side of the boat... and nearly drowned. Furious and somewhat embarrassed, he and Damon headed for home. When Dallas arrived back at the family home, he asked his grandmother for an explanation. "Grandma, why can't I walk on water like my father, and his father, and his father before him?"
His sweet old grandmother took Dallas by the hand, looked into his eyes, and explained, "That's because your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather were born in January. You, my dear, were born in June."
A woman gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."
She sort of forgets where she is, even the pilot in the cock-pit hears the noise. Annoyed by the goings on, the Pilot comes out and shouts "Be silent!"
There was pin-drop silence everywhere and everybody is looking at the woman and the angry Pilot. She stared at the pilot in silence for a moment, concentrated really hard, and all of a sudden started shouting, "OEING! OEING! OEING! OE...."
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