misc jokes
Favorite this joke 1. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
3. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
4. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
5. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
6. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
7. Seen it all, done it all. Can't remember most of it.
8. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
9. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
10. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, it's a good thing...
But if you donate five kidneys, it's a bad thing and they call the police.
On a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions - Use like regular soap.
On some Schwan frozen dinners: Serving suggestion - Defrost.
On packaging for an iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: The product will be hot after heating.
On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions - Open the packet. Eat nuts.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase is necessary. Details inside.
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Free Daily Joke